I haven't been able to write lately because I am burnt out. We all know the feeling of having so many things on our plates that when we finally get some free time all we want to do is sit. Sit and stare. That's how it has been for me.
Directing the Charlie Brown Christmas play has added a lot to my plate. I have never done anything like this before so it is a learning adventure. There is a line in this play where Charlie says, "I don't know anything about directing a christmas play." Oh Charlie, I know exactly how you feel. It scares me to think that this play depends on 7 through 14 year olds. Sure, I can tell them where to stand, never turn their backs to the audience, and use big expressions, but it is up to them to memorize their lines. Yeah, it has been stressful, but they are starting to pull it together and I am very pleased with our lead roles.
My days lately consist of the littles jumping on me and clinging to me for seven hours. If I had a personal bubble before here, it is FAR gone. At 3:00p.m I leave a dirty classroom to head straight over to play practice where those kids talk over me and mean Ms. Williams says, "Really? I have been with 2nd graders all day and they listen better than you" yes, my patience is on the verge of breaking. Right after play practice I work on props until about 8:00p.m. There is not once a sit down break for even 5 minutes in this day. This day is long. On Thursday my body finally had had enough and after practice I could barely talk to anyone. I went in my room and locked myself in there for about 4 hours. I needed peace. I needed quiet. I needed God.
Luckily, I have one more week and then it is break time. I am really excited for the Christmas play too! I will be sure to film it on more than one camera( just in case) because I would love for you all to see it someday.
I have been needing to look for the positives here lately. Routine has definitely set in and I think I have a small case of island fever. The kids are ready for a break and teachers are ready for a break. I can't imagine being off this island right now, even if I want to be. Sometimes it is very hard to be here. Most days are days that test my patience. Sometimes I have thoughts that I shouldn't be dealing with kids not listening and parents getting upset. They are selfish to think they can walk all over a person who doesn't have to be here. Really, I am the selfish one. God calls us to places for a reason. We must have faith in Him.
One of my students said to me this week, "Ms. I am going to miss you over break." A simple saying by a little girl, yet it warmed my heart. This was God's touch of encouragement. My little boy Alex calls me mommy and I have stopped saying I am teacher. He is a lovey dovey, always wanting my arms around him. Sometimes I will stop what I am doing, especially if I am busy, and just give him a long hug. This is God's touch of encouragement.
I have the awesome opportunity to explain what faith is to my children and tell them stories about my childhood and family. It brings me comfort and makes me feel that I am not too far away from home. Through all the stress I deal with here, I receive so much love. I am blessed.
I hope you are all wonderful. Thank you for your love, support, and prayers. They mean so much to me. I love you all.
Sending over some island love.
"We live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7
